All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize