Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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