All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize