i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
