i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just gift wrapped bread.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
