I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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