I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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