mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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