even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
