When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
my poor anus
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
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