Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
and you fell through a lawn chair
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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