I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
