Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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