you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Vodka?
Forever.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
