I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
