I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
