We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
