i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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