yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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