So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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