You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
