she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
