TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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