how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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