he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
