Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
