guys are only as good as the porn they watch
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Randomize
