Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
don't judge my taste in strippers
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
