there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You pole danced in your parka.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
