drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
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He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
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What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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