I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
