i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
