3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
do nipples grow back?
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