So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
What drink are we having for lunch?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Damn victory sex feels great
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