my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
