The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
