You're so nebulous sometimes
so let's talk penis.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
