he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
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Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
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Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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