This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
