I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
