Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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