make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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