Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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