I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
