His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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