Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
