Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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