i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
