How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
