I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
