Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
