operation have a gay friend backfired
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
