I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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