Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
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