i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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