Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
