Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
