Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
