I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
