There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
