he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize