how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
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I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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