anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
