I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
